Hello there ladies and gents,
I know I said I would write more but I am failing miserably at it, and for that I apologize. Since my last post I have got a new job and I love it more than I can express. I work with amazing people who have so much patience with me, and love what they do!
Before getting to the whole point of this post, I would like to thank all of the wonderful people in my life who call, text and FaceTime me or my dad to remind us that they love us. The old saying goes “Its the little things in life that mean the most” and as cliche as it is I agree with it 200%. The simple calls or texts mean more to me than I can explain, I just want everyone to know you can change a persons day with a call or text or even a sweet email.
April. I hate April. I actually hate April 19th. I think it is the worst day. I have no shame in admitting that I hate the day God took my mom. I do have guilt that I feel so selfish about it all. I know she was in a massive amount of pain and really wasn’t living but I have a hard time seeing the world without her. It really isn’t a world I want to be in. I have never seen someone love with such passion, and to want the best for every person they meet. I am not saying my mom was without faults, I am saying she was human, she made mistakes, but she did so with such class and grace. I miss her everyday, I smile I go along with my day, I laugh, but I miss her so much it hurts to inhale. Some find it odd that Kayla (the best friend anyone could ask for) and I go out and see our girls (Savana Bowers who was only 18 passed away from cancer, I did not know her personally but I see the impact on the lives she changed and I say with confidence she was a force to be reckoned with) Savana is buried in the same row as my mom, I do not think this is some weird coincidence. When Kayla and I go see the girls it isn’t a sad experience it gives me some kind of feeling I cannot explain, we talk to them about the week, fix the flowers, rinse of the headstones, etc. I know that Savana and my mom are not at the cemetery, I know they are walking on the streets of gold but having somewhere to go remember them is meaningful and having someone who won’t judge you at 10pm for wanting go there and not say a word is priceless.
Thank you Kayla Mazna for seeing me for who I am, at my worst, crying on the bathroom floor because I missed my mom, laughing so hard I snort, and for telling me my mom would be proud of me with so much meaning. Your friendship means more to me then I can put into words. I am proud to be your friend, you care so much about everyone, you give people chances upon chances, you make others laugh when tears are streaming down their face. Thank you for being the person you are and no one else.
Well this ends my ADD style post! As always, be thankful for the life you live, for you have woken up today and you have a purpose